


Vulnerable

by LavenderMochi



Series: You And I Were Just Meant To Be [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Blushing, Fluff, Holding Hands, I Got U Fam, It's uwu Soft Boi Hours, Just Fluff Actually, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Not beta read not even by my own self, Oneshot, Secrets, Sleepy Cuddles, Soft Roceit Content You Say, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, a lot of fluff, very self-indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-18
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-10-21 08:59:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20690882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LavenderMochi/pseuds/LavenderMochi
Summary: It's midnight, there are cuddles, and Roman starts asking existential questions.





	Vulnerable

**Author's Note:**

> Another case of 'I'm only going to write a drabble, 1000 words at most' only for it to end up being 'god I really like this story and now I have so many ideas, so now it's double 1000 words.' :')

"What's your biggest secret?"

Deceit's eyes slowly fluttered open upon hearing those soft words rumble in Roman's chest. Deceit stretched a little, as much as he could in Roman's arms, and lifted his head sluggishly to get a look at his beautiful prince. While Deceit still felt hazy from being in limbo between asleep and not, Roman was definitely awake, his eyes alight and twinkling like stars. As far as Deceit was concerned, Roman had no right looking that handsome.

"Hmm?" Deceit just about moaned, lacking in his usual grace and composure.

"Sorry," Roman said with a smile, even though Deceit could very easily tell he was only half-sorry, "I was thinking aloud. I didn't know you were sleeping, my darling, sleepy snake." Deceit could barely register warm, delicate fingers brushing the side of his cheek. Deceit leaned into the touch.

"I wasn't sleeping," Deceit said, partially in lie. He didn't want Roman to fuss about waking him. "What was your question?"

"It can wait."

"Sure, it can." Deceit rested his head back onto Roman's chest. "Well, if you insist, leave me in this blissful curiosity. I didn't want to know, anyway."

"Oh, hush. I thought I was supposed to be the dramatic one," Roman said. He carded his hand through Deceit's tussled locks. "I only asked, what is your biggest secret?"

"Oh." Deceit mumbled, barely understanding the question. "A secret? And you would like to know mine?"

"Yes," Roman said. He paused for a moment, adding softly, "I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours."

Deceit's tired mind considered it for a moment, until his more dominant nature took over, prompting a lie to roll off his tongue. "I don't have one."

Roman let a sigh from his lips, but he otherwise said nothing.

In all fairness, what Deceit said wasn't exactly a lie. He didn't only have _one_ secret. How could he? Not only was he the most secretive Side, but he was also a guardian of sorts to the other Sides' secrets—that only applied if said secret wasn't meant to be revealed yet.

But, as far as personal secrets go, Deceit had many. Ghosts of the past. Emotion struggles not yet ready to be brought up. Fears. He wasn't sure which one Roman was expecting.

It wasn't like Deceit didn't trust Roman, but he found it hard to drop his defenses, to open up. He didn't like being left vulnerable. That was, in fact, his greatest fear and biggest secret. He didn't want to, he was _afraid_ of being vulnerable. That meant he could get hurt and he couldn't let himself be, not when his very nature wouldn't let him.

But all of it contradicted with a reckless part of himself that wanted to bare it all to Roman. Not that Deceit was usually reckless, quite the contrary, but the saying was that love makes fools out of wise men. It was something to consider; He loved and trusted Roman, so why did he have anything to hide?

Because hiding meant comfort and ease. Much like why Deceit never shed himself of his gloves. His gloves were like a physical manifestation of security that protected him from vulnerability. From the truth that secrets held back until they were spoken. So to speak.

_But_, Deceit considered, _I have no reason to feel vulnerable with Roman_. Roman was honorable, loyal, chivalrous. Roman wouldn't hurt him, Roman would protect him and love him. Roman promised that, swearing under the honor of his title of a prince.

Yet, ever the cynic, Deceit wondered if even the strongest of promises could be broken. He let Roman have his moment, though, because it made Deceit happy that he could at least pretend Roman would keep his promise, come hell or high water.

Deceit realized he was digressing. The question that popped into his mind now was whether he was ready to bare it all to Roman. Perhaps he no longer needed a facade to keep himself safe. Roman had, after all, proven time and time again that he would stay loyal to Deceit, no matter what.

"I lied," Deceit confessed with a heavy sigh, "I do have a secret."

"Oh?" Roman's voice was soft. "You don't have to say anything, my dear, if you don't feel it is right. I would never force you to do anything."

Deceit rubbed his gloved hands over Roman's garbs, focusing on Roman's shallow breathing beneath him. Simply being in his lover's arms, Deceit felt calm and protected. Roman always had an air to him that made him feel safe. _That's good_, Deceit thought.

"I won't be cross if you laugh," Deceit said.

"I won't laugh," Roman vowed, squeezing Deceit in assurance.

"And remember, you have to tell me your secret, too." Deceit poked Roman in the stomach and Roman laughed softly.

"I promise," Roman said, sincere.

"Alright. Well..." Deceit turned his face into Roman's chest, finding comfort in doing so, and mumbled, "I suppose...I have a fear of being vulnerable."

"Oh." Roman didn't sound surprised nor disappointed, but curious. "How so? You don't have to say if you don't want to."

_Do I want to?_ Deceit pondered. His nature responded with, _Haven't you told Roman enough already?_ And the reckless part of himself said, _I __shouldn't have to keep anymore secrets from Roman_.

Slowly, Deceit said, "I do want to." Perhaps it was asinine for him to follow his reckless little heart rather than his own instinct, but perhaps not. His instincts always have been overly cautious, like he had his own personal Virgil.

"It's a little strange to explain. I do what I do because it's my way of keeping myself safe from anything that can hurt me. It's the reason why I'm not always truthful. Why I'm sometimes hesitant with your advances. Why I don't often wear my heart on my sleeve." Deceit lifted up his hand, showing Roman. "Why I don't take my gloves off."

"Oh, really?" Roman said, sounding like Deceit had answered the question of the universe. "I had no idea. And here, I thought it was all for the aesthetic."

Deceit snorted. "That, too."

Deceit dropped his hand, but upon seeing it, an idea popped into his head. His natural instinct was telling him not to do it, never to do it. But his heart screamed louder, thumping against his chest in demand to be heard.

Deceit dragged his heavy body off of Roman's chest and away from Roman's arms until he was sat up on the bed. Roman looked to him curiously, the luminance from the dim fairy lights outlining his beautiful features with a warm pink hue.

"I would like to try something," Deceit said. His voice was somewhat wobbly either from sleep, nerves, or excitement, but Deceit couldn't tell which one.

Roman scooted himself up until he was seated like Deceit. "Alright," he said, smiling.

That smile made Deceit calmer. Calm enough to mask the shake in his hand as he reached to unclasp the button at the base of his wrist. With a snap, the glove came loose and Deceit delicately eased his fingers from the fabric.

"What are you doing?" Roman asked, both eyes focused on Deceit's hand.

"Metaphorically relieving myself from my defenses," Deceit said, "Because I realized something. I don't have to hide anything from you. Because..." Deceit inhaled, collecting himself and continuing, "Because I have another secret. Only, it's not so secret."

"What is it?" Roman asked softly, as soft as the look in his eyes.

Deceit slipped out of his first glove, letting it fall onto the bedsheets. He unclasped the other glove and dropped it onto the bed, too, revealing another hand, only this time, it was covered in scales. The cool air kissed the skin on the back of his hand and left Deceit feeling naked, in a way. He hadn't taken his gloves off in so long, he had almost forgotten how it felt to _feel_. On one hand, it felt liberating. On the other, it made him panic, because he was without the comfort his gloves usually brought him. And Roman was there, too. Deceit didn't know whether that was bad or good, but the experience was certainly _new_.

Deceit peered up through his lashes, his eyes meeting with the brandy color of Roman's. "I trust you. I love you. That's what."

Deceit moved his trembling hands and entwined them with Roman's. At first contact, Roman felt like warm fire, and Deceit was tempted to flinch away, but it felt _good_. Roman's hands were soft and nice, exactly as Deceit imagined them to be. Deceit felt happiness overcome his nerves, especially as he realized Roman was holding his hand, and that it felt very nice to have his hands caressed gently by his lover.

Roman stared at Deceit as he brushed the pad of his thumbs over every little detail carved on his fingers. And he closed his eyes, bringing Deceit's hands nearer to his face. Roman's lips tickled Deceit's skin, and Deceit's breath hitched. But it felt nice. _Very _nice.

Tenderly, Roman kissed each knuckle, and uncurled his hand from Deceit's and pressed a kiss on either of his palms. Deceit could hear his heart hammering in his ears and felt blush flush his cheeks. Roman opened his beautiful eyes, now shimmery with what Deceit could only describe as pure love, and he smiled.

"Thank you," Roman said, "I know that must've been hard for you."

Deceit didn't really know how to respond and just sat there and blinked. His eyes drifted to his hands still entwined in Roman's, and he pulled them back sharply, dropping them into his lap. Deceit adverted his eyes, hoping his blush wasn't so noticeable in the dull pink light.

"Alright. Now you," Deceit said, "You need to tell me your big secret."

"Oh!" Roman tittered, his cheeks tinging red. "Well, I- I've been wanting to bring it up for a while, actually. My secret, I mean."

Deceit's gaze flitted to him and he squinted. "Oh?"

Roman's eyes lifted and locked with Deceit's, and Deceit was almost terrified by the intensity of the passion that burned inside them. Terrified in a good way, Deceit supposed.

"I love you so much, you know that, right?" Roman asked, earnest.

Deceit felt himself burn under those beautiful eyes and felt his heart beat faster and faster. "Yes, I know."

"And you remember that I promised you, that I would love and protect you, no matter what?"

Hearing it made Deceit's heart flutter. "Yes, I remember."

Roman had a smile on his face. Without missing a beat, Roman spoke in a soft voice that was sweeter than honey, "My secret is that I want to marry you, Deceit."

Deceit drew back, his breath catching in his throat and his heart skipping a beat. "_What_?"

"I want to marry you," Roman repeated as if saying it was easy. "Because I love you with all of my heart and more."

Roman waved his hand and Deceit froze, staring at a small black box that was now suddenly pinched between his fingers. Roman flicked the box open, revealing a ring inside. Deceit's breath caught in his throat again.

"Will you marry me, Deceit?"

"Will I do _what_?"

"Marry me," Roman said.

Deceit scoffed, adverting his eyes in attempt to collect his thoughts. He couldn't think when Roman was staring straight into his soul.

_Don't you even think about it! _screamed Deceit's nature, _You know that m__arriage is only for economic benefit! And who's to say your love will stay true?_

"No," Deceit lied before he could stop himself, "I don't want to marry you."

Roman's face fell a little, but he nodded and moved to close the box without another word. But before he could, Deceit's hand involuntarily shot to Roman's wrist and clasped around it in a vice-grip.

Deceit was focusing on the smaller voice, the one that was coming from his heart, _But __I love hi__m and I would do anything for him_.

"Wait," Deceit said, "Wait, I lied. I do- I do want to marry you."

"What?" Roman asked softly, blinking, "Deceit, no. If you really don't want to, you don't have to lie to me."

"Listen to me, Roman," Deceit said, snapping his eyes up to Roman's,"I'm telling you the truth. I do want to marry you."

Deceit moved his hands to cup Roman's cheeks and Roman laid one of his hands on top of Deceit's, pressing his face into Deceit's palm. Deceit moved closer and placed a small, feather light kiss on Roman's lips.

"I will."

Roman grinned, his eyes half-lidded in a happy haze. He said, "I suppose now is the time I take your hand and put on the ring."

"Of course. How could you not know that? What, you've never gotten engaged before? Pathetic," Deceit snarked and snorted, and Roman laughed lightly.

Tenderly, as if Deceit's hand was made of fine china, Roman took it and slipped the ring onto Deceit's scaly finger. He brought Deceit's hand to his lips and kissed it softly before letting it go from his loving hostage.

Deceit stared at his hand now, admiring the finer details he had missed at first. Like the delicate loops in the silver metal which caressed black pearls that were carved into roses. Subtle and, yet, also extra. Deceit adored it.

Deceit stared at it for a moment longer, then snapped his head up and said, "Well, then, now that you've won my heart over, may we refocus on more important matters?"

Roman tilted his head. "Which more important matters?"

"Sleeping."

Roman exclaimed in understanding, then grinned. "You mean cuddling."

"No," Deceit said with a cool smirk, "I meant sleeping."

"Liar," Roman said affectionately.

Roman gathered Deceit in his arms and fell back into the bed. Deceit repositioned his head onto Roman's chest, hearing his prince's heartbeat thudding gently within its ribcage and inhaling the smell of sugar and spice and all things nice. Deceit hugged Roman's midriff tighter. He loved Roman so much.

Roman kissed the top of Deceit's head. "Good night, my sleepy snake fiance."

Deceit tittered, shooting back tiredly, "Good night, my princely fiance."

Roman's gentle laugh, the fuzzies warming his insides, and the strong arms enveloped around him lulled Deceit right to a blissful sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> I love them so much ;v;


End file.
